Was it death that stole you away
Or was it you that bid life farewell?
Tell me, oh tell me…
I look at life, all I see is disillusionment…
For life without you is not the same…

No; life without you will never be the same…
Death, disillusion is all I feel and see
My heart faint and trembles within me…
How would I make it through this.
Life’s path seems dark and grayed over by death…

God, you that understand and permits both life and death.
Help me, thou helper of the helpless…
Open my eyes to see beyond this disillusion of death.
Help me to see the beauty he imparted while he lives…

Though I may see death and disillusion…
I know he sees beauty…
Beauty beyond description…
For he is gone to be with You in the great beyond…
What a sorrowful and joyous mystery…
Death, disillusion and beauty intertwine…

When the game seems to’ve changed to some other game…
Whose roles no longer matches the one you use to know…
What should you do, who do you turn for help?
Life seems to’ve thrown you a curve ball…
The known strangely now are unknown…

Where once there was laughter…
There, I now see a growing pain…
The answers are not forthcoming..
The questions are not yet formed.
All I feel is growing pain…

My experience tells me that time is more than just a linear progression.
My experience tells me that some times are richer than others…
Some faster and some more meaningful than others.
Though in my mind I know time to be linear and sequential…
My experience cries out  ”No, it is not so”

Time is always more than a linear, monotonous experience…
There are moments in life when time slows down…
And there are other moments when time moves faster…
Time… This linear yet convoluted, simple yet mystifying phenomenon…

How time flies when all is well and fun…
How time slows when hard circumstance comes visiting…
Time, you that create this discord between my mind and my experience…

In the midst of all these busyness, and activities life and time move on…
taking me along, and here we are, in the last day of 2009…
I’m still the same, yet no longer the same at the same time.

Came into this year as a lone ranger, which I always was,
and which I’m still in some ways…
Getting ready to step out of it into 2010
as a married man, which is quite interesting getting use to.

When I looked back into 2009… All I can say is this.
It has been a very interesting year, fraught with lot of pain,
uncertainty, trials, joy, pleasure and some happy times.
All these put together bring about much growth…

I hope this growth, transforms me for the better…
As I bid farewell  to 2009 and step forward into the  unknown 2010…
May I intentionally focus on what is most pure in each person,
to see their highest and holiest potential…  So help me God!

Indeed it’s been long since I last pen down my thoughts…
Not that I’ve not been thinking, but my mind has been preoccupied…
Busy with much complex and deeper thoughts that are very pointed and directed
toward the very special one.

The one whose world collided with mine, and ever since then, I’ve not been the same…
We collided, we merged and melded together…
Our both worlds engulfing each other to form a new world…
A whole new world is emerging where we not I is becoming the predominant.

Just trying to think…
My poor mind still trying to think.
But the heart does most of the thinking now…

It is one thing to win the votes in an election
But another to win and keep the minds of the voters,
Some vote out of duty, some out of ignorant, others out of passion and zeal…
Nevertheless the voters have all spoken
and a winer has emerged…

Emerged to what or for what…
Is the question that has to be answered
Is this a wining victory, or a loosing victory for the elected?
Time shall tell…
Now that it is all done…
Let’s wait and see..

In vain I searched for a quite place, space or crevice
From which to observe this curious occurrence
The stupefaction and idiotification of the masses by political frenzy
The question that comes to mind is, What happened to civilization?
Or was there ever one?

The line have been drawn, sides have been taken
I can see and feel the tension mounts as both sides tear at each other like savage beast
Their sense of reasoning seems to have vacated them..
The media that is supposed to be the watchdog for the truth are the first to sacrifice truth at the alter of delusion.
The intellectual elites, though opened their mouth, what come out are devoid of objective rational…
They are like brutish plagued with imbecility.

Open your eyes and reasoning to see the travesty that’s staring you in the face
The line drawn is false. For before you is a political trickery…
This is nothing but one coin…..
So what you think are diametrically opposite is not so
but two sides of the same coin…

I suspect who ever wins come election day, would make no difference…
For there is one that always wins, the one that own the coin.
Ho the noise again…
I wish these fools will be quite, if only for a while, and let common sense prevail..
Ha, I almost forgot they’ve killed common sense…

But, but a part of me is determined to write
For it has been a day of hard work
I can feel my body protesting
Protesting against any similitude of work…

The day is almost done
The night has spread its wings over us
I could feel a haze settling over me
The melodious song of goodnight-rest I could hear
In dream or in reality I could hardly fathom
But even now I sense a goodnight rest luring me to sleep…

The day is almost done
Goodnight till dawn bids you welcome…

As you celebrate this Christmas, with your loved ones…
Or even all by yourself…
May the joy, peace and love of this Christmas be yours in abundance.

May you see and experience the true meaning of Christmas
in a light and clarity that you’ve never experienced before.
May the essence of the child “Christ” whose birth we commemorate
today be revealed to your heart…
For, it transforms…

It’s Christmas!!
Merry, merry Christmas to you

Then it hits me like a brick wall in the face
It’s almost Christmas, hence the traffic jam
That seems to plague me every where I turn as I drove.

Where are all this people going?
They are going about doing their Christmas shopping of course
Shopping… hmm Shopping for what?
Shopping for Christmas gifts for their loved ones…

For their loved ones, really?
Hmm…that is strange, cause the closer I observed them
The more stressed laden emotion I sensed from them…
If they are really shopping for gifts for their loved ones….
Why are they not doing the shopping with much love and joy.

I suspect there is something amiss here…
Ha, now I think I’m beginning to get it!
The joy of Christmas is gradually being suffocated
Under the weight of commercialism….

This commercialism induces a warped view of Christmas
Once Christmas lost its essence
Then the joy is gone
It’s almost Christmas
But, were is the joy?