Why haste thou to leave me…
Why the haste oh my father?
How I wish you would have stayed a bit longer…
Longer… for I have not known life without you…

Was it death that stole you away
Or was it you that bid life farewell?
Tell me, oh tell me…
I look at life, all I see is disillusionment…
For life without you is not the same…

No; life without you will never be the same…
Death, disillusion is all I feel and see
My heart faint and trembles within me…
How would I make it through this.
Life’s path seems dark and grayed over by death…

God, you that understand and permits both life and death.
Help me, thou helper of the helpless…
Open my eyes to see beyond this disillusion of death.
Help me to see the beauty he imparted while he lives…

Though I may see death and disillusion…
I know he sees beauty…
Beauty beyond description…
For he is gone to be with You in the great beyond…
What a sorrowful and joyous mystery…
Death, disillusion and beauty intertwine…

When the unexpected happens and life shows you the other side…
What do you do, how do you react?
When life shows you its other side that you thought you knew…
But you realized that  you really never knew this other side…
What do you do, how do you react?

When the game seems to’ve changed to some other game…
Whose roles no longer matches the one you use to know…
What should you do, who do you turn for help?
Life seems to’ve thrown you a curve ball…
The known strangely now are unknown…

Where once there was laughter…
There, I now see a growing pain…
The answers are not forthcoming..
The questions are not yet formed.
All I feel is growing pain…

It’s been three month now…
Yes it’s been three month since the beginning of this year 2011
Lots have happened, lots have changed and lots still remains the same…
We’ve been to Africa and back this year.
Specifically, we went to Nigeria…

Nigeria, yes, I remember this country…
A country of great wealth yet crouched over by poverty
A country that exude peace outwardly, but beneath it lies tension of pain..
A land that has been endowed with abundant blessing…
Yet this same land consumes it’s inhabitants..
What a country of contradictions…

A place where greed seems to be the norm…
Greed has a way of turning blessings into curses
How could a country with so much potential for good be so blinded by greed?
The whole governmental infrastructure is infected by this hideous disease…
A disease called “GREED”
In their greed they forget how to provide common basic services…
Their police force have been reduce to legalized armed robbers.

Landing at Lagos Airport…
Every official seems to want bribe…
But why should I bribe you oh lazy and good for naught officials?
I observed in pity and dismayed at how far this country has regressed.
This once beautiful country…
Once the pride of Africa…
Has now regressed to such a repugnante state of being…

A country where religious passion burns hot…
But their passion is denude of love for their fellow human being…
Greed seems to’ve incapacitate their ability to love.
They can’t think beyond themselves…
for even when they tried, greed seems to deny them of that ability.
They’ve become slaves to their greed…

What a pitiful country you’ve become oh Nigeria…
A land that consumes it’s inhabitants
A country whose political leaders are thugs in disguise…
For they can’t see beyond themselves…
Their greed cursed them with a blurred vision…
Your inhumanity to one another will be your undoing…

Till you rid yourself of this disease called greed…
You will remain a country of low reputation…
A breeding ground for lowlives and uncivilized people.
Alas, there is still hope, and that hope is in…
Putting away your greed, and letting love thrive…
Then compassion will rise…
And the healing will begin…

Waking up to see it’s 2011…
Waking-up in the embrace of a brand new day…
A brand new month and a brand new year…
All wrapped in a brand new century…

I turned to looked at 2010…
It’s now a memory… A memory that will continue to drift away into the distant past
As we move further into this bold new future 2011

2010 was a very dynamic and interesting year…
It was a year filled with challenges, triumphs and some setbacks…
But in all, it was a year of great blessings for me..
A year where I experienced and saw the providential hand of God in motion

In motion not just arbitrary…
Rather in motion on my behalf.
God’s providence provides when there was no provision…
Opened doors where there was no door…
Make pathway for me to walk on in the middle of no where…
Favors from strangers chased after me, and I was lavished with abundant blessings.

Blessings, not because I deserved or merit them…
But God in His infinite wisdom chose to bless me out of His grace and mercy…
Hence, blessed though, boasting I dare not…
For these blessings are not of my deserving…
Rather of the Lord’s providential choice.

So as I step into this day 1-1-11
I looked back at 2010 with humble gratitude…
And looked forward to 20011 with strong hope and confidence, in God’s providence…
As the Lord bless, may I reach out and bless others with same fervor…

It’s fascinating how my mind knows one time, but experiences a different time.
Though my mind sees and know time as  a linear progression, marching onward in precise increments; my physical experience and interaction with time begs the differ…

My experience tells me that time is more than just a linear progression.
My experience tells me that some times are richer than others…
Some faster and some more meaningful than others.
Though in my mind I know time to be linear and sequential…
My experience cries out  ”No, it is not so”

Time is always more than a linear, monotonous experience…
There are moments in life when time slows down…
And there are other moments when time moves faster…
Time… This linear yet convoluted, simple yet mystifying phenomenon…

How time flies when all is well and fun…
How time slows when hard circumstance comes visiting…
Time, you that create this discord between my mind and my experience…

Just came back from seeing a movie with my dearest
What an awesome and beautiful cinematography…
As we walked back home we discussed and exchange ideas
On what we thought of the movie, the characters and the story plot…

The development of the characters, and their impact
Their struggles, their pains and final triumph…
Gosh, as we talk a certain feeling gradually rise from within me…
Aha, I’m use to this feeling, but the intensity is growing…

Yes, it is that feeling of appreciation…
Appreciation of something or someone very special…
Appreciating just having someone so special, so lovely to hold discussion…
Grateful for being blessed with such a loving person
With whom I could share my time, my life and my being…

Grateful for being married to such a beautiful soul…
Grateful for being in love and being loved…
Grateful for being blessed with the ability to appreciate this love
For this makes life more meaningful and worthy of living…
Grateful for love, for without it I am lost…

It’s now almost a year…
Since our world collided and she danced into me life.
She the one that froze me in my step when we first met
The one that changed it all…

I was there to dance…
Latin salsa, yes it was salsa
I felt a gentle breeze passed behind me…
I turned, and there she was, a paragon of beauty

The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen…
I asked her for a dance…
To my surprise she said yes!
This is how it began…

I looked into her dark brown mysterious eyes…
I was forever trapped in her beautiful, lovely gaze
Mesmerized, stupefied and dazzled by her gentle smile…
Helplessly I confessed and asked if, if…
Ha… She said yes again, and I was forever lost in her

She the one that makes my heart tremble
The one that freezes my steps and melt my pride
The one that makes me shiver with love all over
The one that changed it all…

There is a profundity in learning to appreciate others…
Especially what make them different from us…
For that most probably make them unique,
And in their uniqueness they contribute in a special way to life.
Thereby enriching life and its diversity…
Making the world an interesting and fascinating place to live in…

It’s Saturday morning, siting here staring at my monitor…
Trying to think of what to write, what to say, trying to feel my thoughts.
Trying to gather my thoughts…

Indeed it’s been long since I last pen down my thoughts…
Not that I’ve not been thinking, but my mind has been preoccupied…
Busy with much complex and deeper thoughts that are very pointed and directed
toward the very special one.

The one whose world collided with mine, and ever since then, I’ve not been the same…
We collided, we merged and melded together…
Our both worlds engulfing each other to form a new world…
A whole new world is emerging where we not I is becoming the predominant.

Just trying to think…
My poor mind still trying to think.
But the heart does most of the thinking now…

Christmas celebration is now past by days…
The celebratory spirit it brings with it lingers still.
That of this year seemed different to me…
People seems more honest in their gift giving…
And in their celebration…

Why this change?
Could it be that the current economic quagmire induce this change?
Could it be that there is a mass recognition of the true meaning of Christmas?
Could it be that commercialism is finally letting go of the death grip it has on Christmas?
Maybe it’s all in my head, or just a fluke…

The honesty and innocency of Christmas almost shone through…
Almost, for certainty of that may not be embrace at this time
Till the next Christmas affirms of denies this…
Now let’s move on and see what the next Christmas has to say about this.